Courts

Well, I filed with the courts yesterday for reallocation of EVERYTHING...including an emergency motion to allow me to go to Denver with zach to take this job. My ex found out and called me this morning telling me I was  not taking zach with me because HE said so. REALLY??!! Had the honor of telling him it wasn't his decision anymore, that it was now in the hands of the courts and paperwork was already filed. This was right after he told me he was going to see his attorney...I told him would probably be a good idea as paperwork is FILED with the courts. He got very quiet...
Well, if i dont hear on the emergency order in the next couple of hours i am going to drive to the courthouse and find out what is happening. ...*crosses her fingers*

Just one more week.....

Well, finally got my lappy back today...seems to be working well..Yay!!!!
I'm due in Denver next week, but, the legal issues are still in limbo...i'm going to have to pull the paperwork from offline...fill them out and file them with the courts myself...and pray!
Master is serving His own paperwork this week and is offline for the duration,  I am having a hard time dealing with that...it's difficult not to be able to speak to Him for that length of time...I'm worried for Him, worried for my own situation and I'm at an all time low needing His reassurances yet, not able to have them.

What an amazing day!

Today was just amazing all around! First off, i slept way better than i have in quite a while, and the ONLY dream i remember having was nothing shy of wonderful! No nightmares that i can remember! Then Master and i both woke up early and spent some one on one quality time together before my son woke...and again after my son went to school, mmmmmmmmmmmmm was sooooo yummy! Work, was good finally completed the exterior of this 100 year old victorian we had been working on and we got some of our regular maintenance work done. The biggest part of today was that, i FEEL less stress...my life may not be this perfect rose of a life right now, but each day and each step is taking me closer and closer to what i would like and want and need. Master and i are growing closer than i think W.we have Ever been and i can see and feel a difference in the two of U.us and O.our relationship. i am feeling more in tune with U.us and what W.we are working to achieve together! My boss now knows that i am going to Denver, my sister has agreed to let me stay with her until i go fully into service to Master...only one more step for me..talking to my ex and letting him know of the plans and that my son and i will be living in Denver now. i will post the results of that after it happens! my only concern with that is that he might decide to be a complete ass and say no, in which case i will have to take him back to court and petition the courts to allow this move..which will be really stupid on my exs part. He has not been very good about his child support payments and that is one of the things that has seriously hampered my ability to provide necessities to zach and once i tell the courts this, and tell them that the only way i can provide for zach the way he deserves IS to go to Denver where better paying jobs can be found..they will look down on my ex unfavorably. soooo heres to the next step!

Feeling a bit mutinous today....

UGH!
Today has been one that I would have gladly started over again...I'm feeling a bit mutinous, not at Master just in general...sighs...I don't know, I keep waiting for the ax to fall, and everything to go to hell. It seems like it has been on the verge of that for a year now and I am not enjoying the feeling, I keep hoping that things will stabilize, get semi normal at least..Maybe I'll be able to sleep for longer than a few hours at a time, or maybe sleep without the nightmares.
I'm just so ready to move on in life, move on with Master, start our new life together!

Preparing for the move....

OMG!
I am sitting here looking around my little apartment, piles of pillows and clothes strewn about, boxes and bags littering the nooks and cranies and even though I truly HATE moving, this is a huge step for me! I will be going to my sisters house in Denver and staying with her until things are settled with my Master, and then the move to His house! *shivers in anticipation*.

I never thought in a million years that this day would come, especially with Master. When I began this walk and accepted His collar, it was with the understanding that He and I could NEVER have RL together. All the heart aches and pitfalls that I have faced then have only made me stronger, more able to handle the reality that will soon be upon U/us. Do I believe I am ready for this? With Him, Yes! This RL move with Him is something my heart has prepared for from day one of my walk..my mind may not have been thinking along these lines but, my heart has ALWAYS said yes, and will continue to do so. I have loved Him for so long now that trying to find a replacement RL had been difficult, until Snark.
Snark has been the only other Dominant I know that I would have and had given myself to completely, loved without reserve. My love for Him rivaled that of my Master and it has been heart breaking for me to say good bye to Him, let Him go as my Dominant.   Master knows this, accepts that for a while my heart is divided and is willing to help me overcome my struggles as far as Snark goes. Master accepts that Snark will always be a part of my life because of my feelings for Snark, but...He also knows that I am fully invested into Him and that no matter what my feelings for Snark are, my whole focus will be on Him, His needs and wants and desires, and O/our life together.  Whatever may be in O/our future will be set by the journey He and I take, what W/we make of it and I am excited to begin this new step in O/our relationship. I expect it to be a lot of hard work, yet I know that it will all be worth it, the joy and love that W/we will have together will be the ultimate reward!