Need for commitment

This one has as such a long weekend. It should have been full of renewal for her with her Master and Mistress, a time of quality sharing and growing....it turned out to be nothing like she pictured it. This one knows that RL has a way of interfering with a relationship even in an RL setting, its much more difficult when the relationship is online and via the phone. Yet, this one truly believes that if one is committed to making said relationship work..and it doesn't matter if it's BDSM or vanilla, then one does what they need to to make it work. It's even more important in a D/s or M/s relationship since communication is soooo important. In this girls case she not only needs but requires a higher level of attention, and this weekend there was virtually none. She has some with her Mistress and that's great, however the kind of time this one needs is much more involved than that and really needs more quality one on one time with her Owners...and it isn't forth coming. In fact it seems to only be getting worse. There was a time when They MADE the time to be with her, time when they were not distracted or busy but focused on this one, time when W/we could learn about each other, bond, play, talk or just be together....Now, it feels as this one is pushed back to a corner and being asked to accept scraps from her Owners. This one cannot accept that and even though W/we have discussed this subject it does not seem to be getting better...in fact it seems to be getting worse. She loves her owners or this wouldn't hurt so bad but, she cannot live with it as it stands .
~kitt~

Time

This week has been an up and down week for this one, she has spent a great deal of time reflecting on what is or is not important to her in the whole scheme of her life. This one has been missing time with her Master and Mistress this week, between this ones work schedule and their schedules it has been difficult. For this one time with them, real quality one on one time is sooo important, she has insecurities and doubts that surface as well as just a general need to feel close to Them. This morning as she was reflecting on what is truly important she realized that, even though time with them is not always guaranteed with online relationships, being with them and having them in her life is so much more important to her. So, this one will learn to adapt somehow and not let the lack of online time bother her so much as W/we learn about each other because if things work out, one day she will be with them in RL and the time will be there. 

Sa-eela Dance

Kittaras Sa-eela Dance

*The girl softly glides to the center of the pit, her body gently folding to her kneel. Toned legs spread widely as delicate hands rest lightly on her thighs, her head and eyes lowering. Light music begins, its soft notes weaving about the room. her head rises, orbs of the softest green scan the room, seeing Him she gazes at Him longingly. her soft coral lips opening slightly as a delicate pink tongue lightly glides across her full bottom lip leaving it glistening in the light as her body unfolds itself, her hands setting on the tiles in front of her, her legs pushing her lithe body up.*

*He continues to speak to the One sitting with Him not noticing the beautiful girl. her heart beat quickens as she takes a few soft flowing steps in His direction, her willowy arms reaching out to Him, her body bending at the waist as she leans forward, delicate silks draping down the full mounds of her breasts visible for a few seconds before she stands straight again, her arms raising over her head, hands clasping as her head lifts up. her body rising on her tip toes as she gently spins.*

*The music speeds up, the drums and strings calling a siren song as her body slowly folds towards the floor again. she pauses on her hands and knees, her back pushing down towards the floor as whimpers of need rise in the air, gentle tear drops falling as she pushes her chest towards down, her breasts lightly rubbing the rough texture of the tiles pale pink nipples beading as the desire she feels rushes through her body, drawing in a raspy breath as her head lifts, her glistening hazel eyes glazed with desire gaze into His longingly again*

 *He looks to her briefly before turning away His attention on the One next to Him. she cries out softly, glittering tears streaking down her face as she moves forward, her body gliding along the floor, her firm legs pushing her forwards, the firm globes of her ass High. The music slows again, mournful and deep. her heart crying out for the One to notice her, Claim her, her breath catching as she rises to her hands and knees again then slowly rising to a kneel, her legs spread widely*

*with a crash of the cymbals her body leans back, her head resting on the tiles, her back arches while her hips rise revealing her glistening moist heat to His gaze, her elegant hands gently gliding up milky thighs, slowing as they cross near her heat, a loud sigh escapes her lips. Moaning loudly as they travel across her toned belly, dainty fingers tracing and swirling around the curve of her breasts and pale pink buds of her nipples.*

*He rises and begins to walk towards the door, her sharp cry of anguish reaches His hears and He turns to see her eyes cast wide. Her body rolling quickly back to her hands and knees as the music rises in intensity. she begins to crawl forward, her movements fluid and feline. her mouth opening as she moans again, her body undulating as she nears Him. His piercing gaze watching her movements, somewhat cold in their feel, her movements becoming more frenzied as she rolls to her back again, softly rounded hips rising and falling gently, swaying from side to side, her head rolling and moving, shimmering waves of sun-kissed hair swaying. her moans growing in intensity as the music rushes and swirls around her*

*He gazes down at her, His eyes smoldering embers. her gaze hopeful as she turns to her side, her knees drawn up towards her chest as her toes point. her hands gently wrap around His ankles, her lips lightly guiding along her boots softly kissing them, her tongue darting out softly tracing the line of His foot encased within the worn leather, her heart beating rapidly as she writhes on the floor, her whimpers and moans rising again as her hands begin to draw her up His leg, her body following, firms breasts skimming the soft leather of His pants, her nipples hard nubs puckering the silks over them. her legs carefully wrapping around the foot of his boot her quivering heat lightly rubbing against the toe as she gazes into His eyes*

*He bends over to her, His strong hands grabbing her and lifting her to Him. she cries out softly as His Firm lips descend upon her lush, soft ones in a heated kiss, her heart soaring with joy as she melts to His strong touch and kiss, her desire spiraling out of control as He takes what is His.... ~LaKajira~

How does one......

*sighs deeply* 
How does one cope with so much all at one time? This one is frustrated lately, she is learning so many new things about herself, learning to understand a new type of dynamic within the poly relationship she is in, and trying to cope with an unquenchable need to be near the Ones she is bound to. She feels completely useless at times, and because of it gets frustrated. At other times she feels real jealousy over things that wouldn't bother her other times and it makes no sense to her. She craves and needs protocol, but also craves and needs to feel close, special and sometimes she feels left adrift with way too much time on her hands, and that bothers her the most........

Belt Dance

Kittaras Belt Dance

*The girl kneels in the sands of the pit in the middle of the hall, her lithe body folded forward, long delicate arms wrapped about her-self, her head lowered as the glittering mass of her sun kissed hair pools on the floor in front of her. The low beat of the drums begin in the background, the soft strings joining in after a moment, their haunting strains flowing about the girl. He sits on the finest furs on the dias, the warrior, proud and strong, sipping His mead as out of the corner of one eye He watches the girl.*

*her head rises slowly, turning, lifting, piercing lights glittering in her eyes as she seemingly gazes around the room for Him, full coral lips open softly as she spies His form relaxed on the furs. The music increasing in urgency as her body unfolds from its kneel, her arms reaching out as her body leans forward as if beseeching Him, begging, He turns His head speaking to Another, turning away from the girl*

*her arms and head drop at the refusal, her heart hammering in her chest as tears rise into her eyes, then her back rises her proud features determined as she places elegant hands on the floor before her, her breasts dropping low as elbows bend, soft arms laying on the floor as the firm peaks of her ass rise up high, silks sliding back baring the creamy flesh and glistening heat. With the crashing of the cymbals and the beat of the drums her arms and legs begin to move forward. Her body sliding along the floor in the direction of the warrior, orbs of the palest jade pleading as her delicate tongue darts out to run along her lush lips*

*Finally reaching His boots her head lowers her glistening lips softly kiss the tips of the boots as the soft notes of the flutes caress her, her hands reaching up to caress His legs, her whole body seemingly drawing in closer to Him. Her breath expels with a small sigh, her need and desire growing strongly. Pushing up with her hands she rises to her firm bottom, her legs splay widely as fiery tipped fingers gently caress the gleaming skin of her thighs, slowly tracing across them only to glide up the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. Her head rolling back, eyes closing as she sucks in her breath. Her fingers lightly drawing the soft yellow of her silks along with them, just uncovering the moist treasure of her heat*

*The cymbals crash again as the drums beat in the background, the sound of the flutes flowing around her as her body strains backwards, the back of her golden tresses fanning out on the floor, rounded hips rising up exposing her lush heat to the dark pools that are His eyes. her arms continuing their soft exploration of her body, gently skimming across her belly, lightly fluttering over the full rise of her breasts until they settle over her head her palms facing up as her body undulates in its desire and frustration. Low husky moans escape her lush lips*

*He turns His body again, His low tones murmuring to Another next to Him, her cry rising as her body rolls to her belly gentle hands clasping over her head, sinewy legs spread widely as the beat of the drums slow again, the crashing of the cymbals fading as she draws her legs up under her splaying widely, her hands reaching up to grasp the shimmering tresses, lifting them and draping them over the soft slope of her shoulder, shimmering tears coursing down her dewy cheeks as her head lowers*

*A powerful clash of the cymbals and the strings rise as her shoulders draw back rigidly, her head turning towards Him, her pale hazel eyes glowing in determination as her torso swings around, her hands drawing her with it as she rises to her hands and knees. Her piercing gaze never leaving his form as she begins to move, one hand sliding forward followed by beautifully formed leg, each movement feline is its grace and fluidity. Her back arching downward, forcing pert breasts to extend below her, pale pink nipples hardening as desires spirals through her*

*The drums slow again as she nears Him, His intense eyes watching her approach, His firm lips pursing while His deep eyes gleam. Her tongue again darts out to moisten her lush lips, the glittering teasing the senses as her legs draw up under her again, knees spreading widely almost painfully as her body rolls forward, her hands and chest brushing against His legs, her head lowering. He lifts one hand over her as if to strike, then slowly lowering to her bared neck grasping her tightly, His voice ringing out clearly. Mine.*

~LaKajira

Tile Dance

Kittaras Tile Dance

*A gentle music begins to fill the room, strings lightly playing, gentle beats of the drums mirror her heart beat as she lays on her side curled up on the blood red tiles. Softly formed legs pulled up to her chest, her sinewy arms gently wrapped around them, her eyes closed, golden waves of hair pooling out around her head as glistening lips gently open, her soft sighs escaping her. Her lithe body slowly unfolding, pale lids opening slowly, softly glowing eyes appearing and her legs stretch out, beautifully formed feet turning down as dainty toes come to a point.*

 *rolling over to her side, her gaze falling on the ring holding her chains to the blood red tiles as she wakes fully aware of her surroundings. she lightly reaches out to touch it a pang settling in her, her heart beat slowly increasing as a vision of Him fills her mind, her breath catching in her throat as a wave of need fills her. her legs curling up as the feeling washes through her body, a soft moan escaping her as her eyes quickly look back to His chair but He is not there. her eyes close quickly as she rolls to her stomach, willowy legs curling beneath her again, her back arching and head dropping to the floor as her minds spins with questions and desires she doesn't understand*

*crying out softly as she brings her head up again, her arms stretching out towards where He should be, loneliness and despair washes over her, the gentle strains of the music growing more intense as if mourning for her. her lush lips glisten as a small tear trails it way down her soft cheek, her body curling up once more as her feelings overwhelm her. Rolling again to her back again, her arm rising to cover her eyes as her mind portrays Him there with her, His touch...will it be soft ...will it be rough .. His kisses, will He taste like the honey mead He so enjoys? her body begins to rock softly, her back arching as her need pools in her core the  ache building*

*taking a deep shuddering breath her arm falls, softly her fingers glide down her chest, barely skimming the fullness of her breast. her breath rushing out loudly as desire skitters through her, her mind trying to imagine Him here with her, finally taking what was His. Rolling to her side in frustration, her gaze fixes on the door to the rest of His home, her mind spinning with thoughts. Her arms reaching out to it, a desperate hope for Him to appear, her mouth opening again as soft hazel orbs fill with tears once more. her frustration mounts as her body begins to throb with its need*

*curling up her legs drawing them up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, her head rocking side to side as the misery of her need shoots through all parts of her. Soft beats of the drums and strings infusing her soul allowing her some measure of peace momentarily as her body uncurls her legs stretch out, soft, delicate feet gently twining around each other in the lightest of touches. Sucking in her breath again as the need spirals throughout her, her breath hissing through her teeth.*

*rolling to her stomach, her legs and arms pushing her lithe body along the surface of the floor slowly. One arm reaching out towards the doorway as one legs draws up underneath her, her hips rising and falling as she claws her way forward. The chains stopping her near the door, but not near enough, an anguished moan rising from her as her head drops lightly to the tiles, the music intensifying, rolling over her in waves*

*laying near the doorway, her tears flowing freely as her body trembles and shivers with unfulfilled need, her breathing ragged. Her arms and legs lying as she stopped, one arm reaching forward towards the door and one leg resting under her. A soft sound permeates her senses, her breath stopping as her head raises slightly, her eyes glistening from tears as she listens...again the sound, soft and distant, her mouth lifting in a joyous smile*

*The sound of His footsteps drawing closer, finally stopping outside the doorway and then the click of a lock, the soft whoosh of it opening and then His beloved face...her body scrambling to rise to meet Him. His long stride brings Him to her quickly, His hand staying her position. her gaze confused as she looks into His dark orbs, His hand touching her mouth softly as His finger stops her words. At long last, His arms draw her to Him, His lips claiming hers, taking her as what she is*  ~la kajira~

Chain Dance

*The girl huddles daintily at the edge of the sand pit, her lithe frame covered in green robes her glittering eyes the only thing showing as she gazes fearfully around her. The gathering around her begins to jeer as the music begins, the beat of the drums and the strings intense, her noble features taught with anxiety, the crowd cheers as a dark form appears on the rim of the pit, the shimmering pools of her misty green eyes drawing to Him. Quickly standing she sees Him as hope, her savior and begins to run towards Him. Tears coursing down her face as a long graceful arm reaches out to Him*
.
* His head rises fully, dark, piercing eyes stare at her, his harsh mouth turning up lustfully as His strong hand reaches out grasping her robe. Stopping still as she realizes her mistake, her hand rising up to cover her mouth as she gasps out her fear and surprise. Spinning on her feet she turns again to run, His hand pulling roughly on the robes tearing them from her body leaving her completely exposed to the gleeful gazes of the crowd*

*she falls forward onto her hands and knees, the lean lines of her body shimmer in the firelight, long elegant legs shaking slightly, pert breasts rising and falling with her harsh breathing, a cascade of molten gold flows down around her face to lay pooling on the sands as tears fall, wetting delicate hands. Crying out her misery as His long strides carry Him her. He takes out a hammered metal collar from behind Him, fixing it quickly around her neck and locking it tightly in place, startling her*

*The flow of the music intensifies, rising in volume as her head jerks up at the feel of the steel around her, her proud features contorting in anger and frustration. Jumping up to her feet and running in the opposite direction of the One who would think to command her. her beautifully molded mouth crying out her agony and shame, sinewy arms reach out to others as she nears the edge of the pit, entreating Any and All, only to be jerked off balance, her body landing with a jarring thud as the length of chain ends her rapid flight*

*Tears flow freely now as the chain reminds her now that she will be slave, her heart hammers in her chest as she rises again. Standing majestically before them in her anger, soft pale skin shivers as she turns to face Him, softly toned thighs gently flexing at her movements, He smiles in pleasure as He gazes at her finely molded features, rounded hips, delicately indented waist, firm, high breasts...*

* Slowly drawing the chain in and wrapping it around His hand, He tugs her in closer, feeling the tug she bolts in His direction. Reaching His chiseled frame, soft hands beat at His chest as her frustration mounts low growls escape her as she peers at His hard unmoving eyes. Spinning again she runs towards the edge of the sands, the chains pulling her up before even reaching the edge, her frame falling once more as her chest tightens with her tears, mournful wails rising to the starlit sky*

* Gathering more of the chain around His fist , He draws her even closer as she rises. Shimmering iridescent pools of jades gaze at Him as her heart calls to her, something primitive and needy beginning to rise within her breasts. No! shaking her head she tries to run again, sun kissed locks flaring out behind her as her steps take her around the pit, her gaze searching for someone, anyone who will help her*

* Again, He wraps more of the chain around His fist, bringing her circle of freedom to no more than a few feet of him. The music begins to slow, the drums softening as the strings lightly play, cymbals crash once more as she is drawn up again only to stop facing away from Him. her legs spread widely, hands skimming up her waist to rest on heaving breasts as her eyes cast wildly about her.

*her head drops in her misery and confusion, she turns to face Him again.The wide masculine lips turning up widely as He wraps the chains once more, gently pulling her even nearer to Him.The beauty before him softly steps forward, her willowy arms rising up gently beseeching Him, tears softly trailing their way down the rose blooms of her cheeks. Anger takes root once more as she realizes He will not release her. Running to Him again, falling before Him hands clasp above her head as she cries out her anger and pain.

*He draws in the chain once more, smiling at her His intent clear.
Piercing eyes glare at Him as she backs away from Him, her trim feet pushing her body away, her hands grasping at the sands.  He remains in place watching her softly now as He again draws her in so that she cannot move but a mere foot from Him.*

*One anguished moan is torn from her as she finally accepts her fate, turning to her hands and knees as she gazes up at Him, once more a hopeful look crosses her face as the strings lightly fade away leaving only the soft beats of the drum. Circling the last length of the chain around His hand. her heart takes flight. her lithe body unfolding as she gently kneels before Him, her noble frame rising to kneel before Him, her head rising proudly as her eyes cast down and delicate hands rest on her thighs.

*His hard hand gently reaches out to her face, softly stroking it as he utters one word in a firm voice. "Mine"*

~LaKajira~

Well...the journey begins...or in this case is reborn and renewed!

Hmmm, this girl is not sure how to begin a blog...*giggles* it's not something she is accustomed to doing! However, she is going to try!
Her walk in the BDSM lifestyle started back in early February of 2011, and it began wonderfully with this one so full of hope and wonder! The One who introduced her to her submissive self seemed so confidant and self assured. He was everything that this one could hope for in what she thought a Dominant should be, and for many months she couldn't have been happier. Then on the 9th of June it happened, her Master sent her a private message telling her that He was releasing her, that He had never considered her and was just using her until He could find a slave worthy of Him. This one was devastated at first, but because she has met some very special people along the way she was able to work through the whole thing and grow stronger for it. This one now has a new Master and Mistress, an RL couple that seem to love and want this one, a couple this one has come to love and cherish above all others! W/we are newly joined, and while it is only an online relationship right now this one hopes that in time they will see her as a part of their household and want to bring her to Them.

A Dominants Tools....an oops!

A Dominants Tools

In the whole scope of things, one should never “borrow” a Dominants tools without their approval. Among all the different reasons why this one shouldn’t do that, there is only a few that really cover it all, training and safety come to mind. And only one that this one forgot for a few brief minutes of playtime.  Respect. Of this ones two distinct personalities, her kitty side is the one most apt to get into trouble; she does things without thought or concern for others. She is not a “bad kitty” per se, she just doesn’t consider the consequences of her “fun” and in this case dropped her good personality into some hot water and leaving her struggling to right the wrong done, which now brings us to why a submissive or slave should not take their Dominants tools without permission.

First off, a submissive/slave generally has not had any training in the use of the tools, and just because one is on the receiving end of said tool does NOT automatically qualify one as an expert!  Dominants/Tops spend a great may years learning their “trade”, it is Their responsibility as a Dominant/Top to ensure the safety and welfare of the subs/bottoms/slaves beneath their hands. Most tools can and do harm, and in the hands of One that is responsible and well trained those tools create an amazing blend of controlled pain mixed with pleasure that will ensure that both the Dominant and sub are satisfied.

Safety is another primary concern and there are so many ways that any tool, in the wrong hands, could seriously injure or even maim or kill. In this case the simple crop this one chose to borrow uses, blunt force to inflict pain, ohhhh so deliciously too! However, hit someone too hard in say the kidneys…bad news, or across the spinal column damaging it, we don’t want to go there!

And, the one thing that this one did not think about was the respect that her Dominants deserve. The tools are just another extension of Them, the same as the home they live in, the furniture in it, the clothes they wear…and their submissive, They are not just bodies with a voice. So, to say one respects their Dominants it is with everything! The care of this girls Owners does not stop at the bedroom door; it extends into the very fabric of O/our lives, private and public. How she behaves, what she does with their possessions, including her body, all reflects back on Them!

This one knows that during her journey, she will make mistakes; she also knows that she will learn from those mistakes and each day she will work hard to ensure that They are pleased, happy and content. Because in the end, for this girl…she is only happy when she has served them to the best of her ability.

Okay...sooo an essay..guess that wasn't so much fun play as this one thought!